Bonic Soom
by Yoshizilla-Fan
Summary: Nuff said.
1. Chapter 1

**Bonic Soom**

by Yoshizilla-Fan

* * *

><p>"You and your friends will never annihilate me, Sonic! I'm unannid- unannnib- unannnibal...you can't beat me." Eggman managed to say.<p>

"That's not even a real word, Egghead!" Sonic stated.

"Are you mocking me?" Sticks remarked.

"Was I?" Eggman responded, trying to appear virtuous.

"I will break your bones, Eggman! Me and stones!" Sticks remarked.

Sonic, Tails, Buff Knuckles, Amy Rose, and Sticks all got into their fighting stances.

"Oh you can make witty, pointless remarks all you want. But that's not going to change a thing!" Eggman claimed.

"Not cool, dude." The Fastidious Beaver stated.


	2. Chapter 2

"This might just be my best evil plan yet!" Dr. Eggman proclaimed.

"Correction. This will be your most evil plan yet." Fastidious Beaver corrected him, popping up out of nowhere.

"Ummm...yes. So anyway, with this hi-tech laser of mine, I will oblitlerate Sonic and his friends!"

"Correction, you will obliterate Sonic an his friends." Fastidious Beaver corrected him again.

"Oh, give me a break. Oblitlerate is such a hard word. An evil genius like me can't be perfect, can he? Especially since I always seem to lose to Sonic and his friends."

"If you lose all the time, it only seems repetitive that you keep trying to destroy him. Maybe you should try something else, of course then you'll go back to being evil because that's who you are. Not to mention your minions are idiots sometimes, and-"

As Fastidious Beaver kept on talking, Eggman slammed his head into the wall repeatedly, annoyed by the beaver's boring words.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Sonic and his friends were relaxing back at the shack.<p>

"Guys, why do I get the feeling that Eggman is being annoyed to death?" Sonic asked.

"Because he's an Egghead who deserves it." Knuckles stated.

"As much as he tries to destroy us, he does tend to use us and pretend to be nice sometimes. That just means he's our evil villian." Tails stated.

"An evil villian who can't even say that he's unoblsa- unovlitrf- inoblitrr- ...we can't kill him." Sticks managed to finally put out.

"Oh Sticks, you and your sloppy wordplay!" Amy giggled.

"Hey, my wordplay may be sloppy sometimes, but that's how I like it! And plus I'm no lady either." Sticks mentioned.

"Correction, vocabulary. Not wordplay." Fastidious Beaver pointed out, correcting them.

"Shut up!" Sonic and his friends claimed in unison, throwing Chili Dogs at the beaver, who popped out of the screen.


	3. Chapter 3

"Gee, it sure is boring around here." Sticks stated, she and her friends relaxing. "It's so boring, I don't even feel like striving for not being bored! I'm just glad I'm bored enough not to wonder what Eggman's up to."

"Actually, it is not as boring as you think." Fastidious Beaver mentioned, popping up. "And actually, Eggman is relaxing just like you. I should know, I actually went there today.

"You again?" Knuckles sighed.

"Haven't you already appeared in three chapters?" Sonic mentioned. "It's like you're the real star of this fanfic."

"Actually, I'm not the main star. You are." Fastidious stated.

"Actually, he did need to fix his shtick." Amy mentioned.

Fastidious raised his finger. "Actually...no wait, that's true. You're actually right." he lowered his finger.

"Bother us all you want, but you will never fastidiate Sticks? I'm unfashti- unfatibi- unastid-...I'm no lady."

"Actually, I remember you once had to be ladylike to accept an award. Actually, the word "fastidiate" doesn't exist." Fastidious mentioned.

"You mean that Hero Award thing?" Knuckles asked.

"Actually, it's the Awardy Award." Fastidious corrected him.

"Yeah Buffles. Don't you remember?" Sonic teased him.

"Actually, his name is Knuckles." Fastidious corrected him.

"Actually, you need to shut up." Sonic snapped at him.

"Don't be rude to him. He's just correcting us. Fastidiousity is nothing to be annoyed by."

"Actually, you need to hear yourself when you say that." Fastidious stated. "Because you actually sound like you're actually not annoyed.

"Can you actually leave us alone? Go bother Eggman instead." Sonic suggested.

"Actually, Eggman found a way to keep me from annoying him. I should know, I was actually there." Fastidious mentioned.

"Just leave us alone! Your fastidious-y is boring me even more!" Sticks snapped.

"Actually, it is my fastidiousness that's boring you." Fastidious corrected her.

"Never mind what I said. Get out of here!" Tails snapped. "Go bother someone else."

"Actually, I've already bothered everyone else today." Fastidious mentione

d. "Actually, there's one person I haven't bothered." Fastidious then popped out of the scene."

"Finally, some peace and quiet." Amy stated.

* * *

><p>"Will you please not make me feel guilty about telling you to leave?" The Gogoba Chief begged, somehow being out of character, annoyed by Fastidious Beaver.<p>

"Actually, it is I who should feel guilty about leaving your hospitality."

"But you haven't saved any of us!" the Chief mentioned.

"Actually, I did. Eggman is bored to death by my fastidiousness." Fastidious metioned.

"Oh, well then please stay forever!" the Chief asked.

"Actually, I can't." Fastidious stated. "Actually, I gotta go bother Eggman some more."

* * *

><p>"These soundproof earmuffs will stop that stupid squeamish beaver from annoying the hell out of me!" Eggman stated, wearing a pair of special earmuffs that he made.<p>

"Actually, I can still pop up in front of you, and be here when I shouldn't be." Fastidious mentioned.

"It's like he's this fanfic's real main character." Orbot stated.

"Yeah. He's everywhere today." Cubot added.

"Actually, don't expect me to appear in the next chapter." Fastidious added. "Actually, I'm not the main star. Sonic and his friends are."

"But what if you're secretly the real star?" Orbot asked.

"They should have just named the fanfic after you." Cubot added.

"Actually, that might happen if I'm actually popular enough." Fastidious stated.


	4. Sonic Forgets His Ass

"Ha ha! I'm here to try to destroy you again!" Eggman claimed, bringing his entire robot army with him while Sonic and his friends were relaxing on the island.

"No thanks, Egghead. I'm tired today." Sonic stated, getting up and storming back to the hut,

"Fine. Another day then." Eggman groaned, taking his Egg Mobile and his robot army back to his evil lair.

"Sonic, wait! You forgot your ass!" Amy claimed, running after him.

"Did she just say that Sonic forgot his ass?" Tails rubbed his head.

"No she didn't." Sticks scoffed.

"Actually, she did." Fastidious Beaver stated.

"Why would she say that?" Knuckles asked.

"Actually, why wouldn't she say that." Fastidious added.

Sticks scoffed again. "Don't you have anything better to do than annoy us?"

"Actually, I don't. I'm actually just here until I get my own fanfic. Actually, that might happen sometime."

"Knuckles look over to Sonic's chair, shocked to see Sonic literal ass on it, but didn't say anything as he whistled nervously, the others looking oddly at him.

"What, Knuckles?" Tails asked.

Knuckles rolled his eyes away from Sonic's chair. "Nothing." Then he looked back, seeing that Sonic's ass was gone. "See? Nothing."

"Whatever you say, Buffles!" Sticks chuckled.

Fastidious lifted his finger. "Actually, his name is-"

**_"Shut up!"_** Sticks snapped.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ok, let's check my list of stupid things to do to destroy Sonic and his friends." Eggman stated, looking at his aforementioned list in his lair.

"But sir, why would you call your list stupid?" Orbot asked him.

"Quiet you! Nothing in this fanfic had to make sense! And besides, I also have a list of things to do when something on my list of stupid things to do fails because of how stupid it is." Eggman remarked, pulling out his other aforementioned list.

"I'm confused." Cubot rubbed his metal head with his thumb.

"Actually, there's nothing to be confused about given the nature of our world." Fastidious Beaver stated, appearing out of nowhere.

"Must you appear in every single chapter?" Eggman sighed.

"Actually, I only appear where I'm needed." Fastidious stated.

"Go bother Sonic and his friends!" Eggman remarked.

"Actually, I can't do that right now." Fastidious mentioned.

Eggman pounded his desk. "Why not?"

Fastidious lifted his finger. "It's the end of the chapter."


End file.
